UFE in Sports

How The UFE Team Rated The 30 MLB Stadiums

Baseball Evaluation

The UFE  ( Urine/Feces Everywhere) Team, visited all 30 Major League Baseball parks to grade each one on cleanliness standards. From the moment the Team entered through the antiquated turnstiles (more about the turnstiles later), until the moment it exited the park, the UFE Team evaluated each stadium. Through thorough study of the restrooms, facilities, vendors, and fans, using over 79 different criteria, the UFE Team  ranked and rated all 30 Major League Baseball parks according to Urine/ Feces Everywhere cleanliness standards.

One major area of study was the restrooms. The team took a critical look at  the restroom habits of both men and women attending the stadium. Did the fans wash their hands after going to the restroom? Have the ballparks done all they can to encourage hand washing? Does the design of the stadium restroom facilities encourage or discourage proper hand washing by the fans after using the facilities, or does the stadium staff take a blind eye to the happenings in the restroom? For a ballpark restroom to meet top UFE standards, it needs to be 100% touch-less: touch-less soap dispensers, towel ,dispensers, doors, and flushing mechanisms. Remember, we say urine/,feces, but there are many other contagions (fluids, bacteria, viruses, fungi, etc.) that we won’t mention. The UFE mantra is Remember to touch only where no man has touched before. How close does each stadium come to reaching that hands-free goal? Surely some of the new parks are designed to reach that goal, right? You would be surprised!

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The Best of the Best

No. 30 St Louis Cardinals

July 7, 2012

What can you say about Busch Stadium when you consider that it was the only park in our survey to get an “A” rating? One hundred percent of the women wash their hands in the restroom, and the men are not too shabby when it comes to restroom hygiene, either. Busch Stadium is one of the few parks that the UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere) Team would feel comfortable shaking another fan’s hand. St Louis is a baseball town with supportive fans and some great history to back it up. The restroo...

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No. 29 San Diego Padres

July 7, 2012

Home of the San Diego Padres, Petco Park was ranked a stellar 29 out of 30 by the team from Urine Feces Everywhere (UFE).  They were proud to report feeling comfortable while watching the San Diego Padres.  Their restrooms were clean and they had touch-less automatic faucets and large garbage cans by the exits and sinks.  They should still aspire to getting completely automatic with toilet flushing, paper towel and soap dispensers, and even touch-less entry into stalls (maybe someday...

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No. 28 Milwaukee Brewers

July 7, 2012

The Milwaukee Brewers’ fans are rated one of the cleanest group of baseball fans in the MLB by the team at UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere).  Brewers’ fans wash their hands more than all the other MLB patrons, with the exception of the St. Louis Cardinals fans at Busch Stadium and the San Diego Padres fans at PETCO Park.  Miller park has been rated 28 out of the 30 MLB stadiums by UFE, thus considered one of the” Best of the Best,” and that is something to be proud of!  With the scor...

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No. 27 Houston Astros

July 7, 2012

Hitting their way to #27 (#30 being the best), we have the Houston Astros and Minute Maid Park.  The organization was the first team to have a dome, “AstroTurf”, and now; a new sod called “Platinum TE Paspalum”.  Nick-named the “Juice Box”, the stadium has a retractable roof and wifi throughout the stadium. Noticing that fans wash their hands gets our UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere) team excited, we admit it. So when we see 80%-90% fans washing their hands that is great news!  T...

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No. 26 Pittsburgh Pirates

July 7, 2012

The Pittsburgh Pirates are much cleaner than their namesake, landing in the 26TH spot of our rankings. Erected in 2001, the Pirates’ PNC Park uses up-to-date technology to keep their restrooms as touch-less and clean as realistically possible. With 99% of females washing their hands, and 76% of males, PNC Park comes in with above-average fan restroom hygiene. The rest of the stadium performs above-average as well, with clean facilities and relatively hygienic vendors and concessions. Thou...

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No. 25 Philadelphia Phillies

July 7, 2012

With a score of 25 out of 30, (30 being the best score) for stadium cleanliness, the Citizens Bank Park ranks high enough to be placed right in the center of the “Best of the Best” group, according to Urine Feces Everywhere (UFE) ratings.  More good news, the Phillie’s rival, the Washington Nationals Park ranks lower than the Phillie’s Park in UFE rating with 22 out of 30.  In fact, the Philadelphia Phillie’s stadium out ranks every park in their division!  Most...

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No. 24 Tampa Bay Rays

July 7, 2012

Joe Maddon is the manager for the Tampa Bay Rays, and boy does he like his slogans.  One of his slogans is “9=8”, which roughly means “9 players who play 9 innings hard every day, would become one of 8 teams to make it in the post-season”. Being at #24 in our UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere) sanitation ranking system is pretty good (#1 is the worst and #30 is the best).  With the facility being overall clean and with the bathrooms being fan friendly, Tampa Bay has had a pretty good sea...

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No. 23 San Francisco Giants

July 7, 2012

AT&T Park, home of the San Francisco Giants was one of the best experiences reported by the team of UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere).  Scoring 23 on a scale from 1-30 is no easy feat for any establishment.  Playing the devil’s advocate when researching actual and potential areas of contamination has made the team quite skeptical.  They were pleased to note that the San Francisco Giants fans scored 90% higher than all of the other MLB parks in hand washing!  The large number of people w...

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No. 22 Washington Nationals

July 7, 2012

Well Nationals, how does it feel to just make it into the “Best of the Best” group?  You should be pleased; it is not easy to get here.  The Urine Feces Everywhere, UFE, team rated your stadium for cleanliness and sanitation and placed you at 22.  Good for you, 22 out of 30, with 30 being the cleanest of all 30 MLB parks.  UFE was concerned with your restrooms.  Unfortunately, every sanitation problem that arises, brings the UFE team right back to the toilet. Washington Nationals Ba...

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No. 21 Boston Red Sox

July 7, 2012

Fenway Park has been home to the Boston Red Sox since 1912 and is now the oldest Major League Baseball stadium still in use.  Given its age, it may come as a bit of a shock to see Fenway coming in at 21st on our list, just sneaking in to the “Best of the Best” class with a final score of 83%. Even though it’s a century old, Fenway uses modern technology to keep itself up to today’s hygiene standards. There was no restroom door to avoid touching on the way in or out, and the toilets ...

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  • No. 30 St Louis Cardinals
  • No. 29 San Diego Padres
  • No. 28 Milwaukee Brewers
  • No. 27 Houston Astros
  • No. 26 Pittsburgh Pirates
  • No. 25 Philadelphia Phillies
  • No. 24 Tampa Bay Rays
  • No. 23 San Francisco Giants
  • No. 22 Washington Nationals
  • No. 21 Boston Red Sox

Middle of the Pack

No. 20 Detroit Tigers

July 7, 2012

Comerica Park, home of the Detroit Tigers, rated 20 out of 30 according to the Urine Feces Everywhere (UFE) team.  Not bad Detroit.  You just made the group, “Best of the Best”.  You are actually beating the White Sox; their UFE rating is 12.  Why do you think that your “nouveau riche” stadium did not score the highest, 30?  It is simple; your washrooms are not updated to protect your fans from the spread of urine and feces and the food handling is spreading UFE even more.  Sha...

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No. 19 Kansas City Royals

July 7, 2012

The Kansas City Royals came in at #19 on our UFE list.  Named after Ewing Kauffman, the Kauffman Stadium was a nice environment, but had a few areas that could make for improvements.  Most notably was the fact that the restroom exit was in a place where an individual could bypass the sink and head back to their seat without washing their hands. On the plus side, the condiments seemed to be kept very clean throughout the game and fans seemed to have fairly good aim (compared to some) while ...

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No. 18 Toronto Blue Jays

July 7, 2012

Rogers Centre (which was named in 2005)  home of the Toronto Blue Jays, was actually opened in 1989.  This multipurpose Astro Turf stadium with retractable roof is truly amazing.  It is no wonder the Urine Feces Everywhere, UFE, team rated it 18 out of 30, with 30 being the cleanest park in the MLB.  They had the basic UFE violations that most of the parks had, yet kept up a cleaner appearance. They were marked down more than the other close ranking parks for hand washing.  If more of ...

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No. 17 Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

July 7, 2012

Anaheim Stadium was renovated back in 1996, and in 2003 the stadium was renamed Angel Stadium of Anaheim. This park went from being a baseball field for the Anaheim Angels from 1966 through 1979, to a baseball and football stadium for the LA Rams in 1981. When the LA Rams left Anaheim for St. Louis in 1995 the park was renovated and reopened in 1996 as a baseball stadium-only complex. With all of the changes and restorations that this stadium has been through one might think that improvemen...

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No. 16 Texas Rangers

July 7, 2012

The Texas Rangers may be the reigning American League Champs, but their field, Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, ranked only 16 in the UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere) Sanitation Ranking. The UFE scale ranks parks from 1-30 with 1 being the dirtiest stadium, leaving the Rangers in the “middle of the pack” group. Observing the bathroom behavior by the fans of the game, our UFE rep in Texas had this to say; “it was nice to see some sanitation bottles in the entrances of the restroom, bu...

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No. 15 Atlanta Braves

July 7, 2012

Turner Field, home of the Atlanta Braves, ranks #15 and is right in the middle of the MLB and the UFE Sanitation Standards.  The Braves are one of, if not the oldest continuously playing sports team in history.  Turner Field was named after Ted Turner who bought the team in the 1970’s.  Finally, another thing that is interesting about the Braves is the fact that they are the only MLB team to have won a World Series championship in three separate home states. Our UFE (Urine Feces Everywh...

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No. 14 Minnesota Twins

July 7, 2012

The Minnesota Twins have an interesting name don’t they? Apparently the name has to do with “Twin Cities” and joining one another and not alienating one another.  At least that’s what our UFE  (Urine Feces Everywhere) rep in Minnesota was told. This is interesting, since that is exactly what we here at UFE are trying to do.  Although some of these ballparks would probably like to be alienated from this list; we feel inclined to bring them along for the ride. Being in the “Mi...

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No. 13 Arizona Diamondbacks

July 7, 2012

The Arizona D-backs’ ballpark, Chase Field, ranked 13 out of 30 in the UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere) rating for cleanliness, with a rank of 1 being the worst. The Chicago Cubs are ranked #1 (dirtiest) – finally # 1 in something! Chicago Cubs player Mark Grace may have muddied this field’s water in 2007. Grace hit the very first home run ball over the right center field fence into the Chase Field pool. That’s right, not only does this park have the Daktronics magnificent LED v...

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No. 12 Chicago White Sox

July 7, 2012

Making their way into the “Middle of the Pack” with a ranking of 12 is The Chicago White Sox.  First off, congratulations, as we here at UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere) are sure that Sox fans are delighted to add this to their ammo for their conversations with Cubs fans.  The Cubs Park, Wrigley Field, ranked 1 as UFE’s dirtiest baseball park in the MLB.  (on a scale of 1-30 with 30 being the cleanest and 1 being the dirtiest) Opened in 1991, Comiskey ”The Cell” has the seating ...

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No. 11 Baltimore Orioles

July 7, 2012

The Baltimore Oriole Park at Camden Yards was a structural trend setter since its completion in 1992. With its bricked outside walls and archways the park fit in comfortably within its downtown Baltimore location.  The park kept its walls low and long to accommodate fans, but not block out preexisting structures.  It just fit in, and comfortably so.  Unfortunately Oriole Park did not fit in very well with UFE , Urine Feces Everywhere sanitary rating.  Oriole Park scored 11 out of 30 on t...

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  • No. 20 Detroit Tigers
  • No. 19 Kansas City Royals
  • No. 18 Toronto Blue Jays
  • No. 17 Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
  • No. 16 Texas Rangers
  • No. 15 Atlanta Braves
  • No. 14 Minnesota Twins
  • No. 13 Arizona Diamondbacks
  • No. 12 Chicago White Sox
  • No. 11 Baltimore Orioles

The Worst of the Worst

No. 10 New York Mets

July 7, 2012

In 1962, the New York Met’s were one of the first expansion teams in the MLB and since then have won 2 World Series championships.  Departing from Shea Stadium in 2008, the Met’s now make their home in Citi Field. The cleanliness compared to the Met’s first few seasons;  not that great.  Some of the evidence that the UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere) team found came in the form of trash being left on top of things other than in garbage cans.  This was not a good start to the sc...

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No. 9 Seattle Mariners

July 7, 2012

Ranked 9 out of 30 by the team at Urine Feces Everywhere (UFE), the Seattle Mariners ballpark has landed in the “Worst of the Worst” group.  Their park, Safeco Field, was designed to inspire the Seattle Mariners ballplayers and produce revenue for the city of Seattle, which was struggling financially in the 1990′s. The construction of the field was mimicked by the other parks that were going up in the 90′s;  the natural grass, the brick facade and the retractable roof were ...

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No. 8 Miami Marlins

July 7, 2012

At # 8, UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere) has the Miami Marlins, whose dirtiness reflects Ozzie’s language.  Ranking 8TH out of 30 with a 1 being the worst,dirtiest possible score and 30 being the cleanest ballpark is not something to be proud of. The stadium looked very nice and opened up in April of this year.  Although the stadium is ranked third smallest in terms of capacity, it really makes an impact on the environment.  Everything is brand new and pretty much on an automated LED screen...

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No. 7 New York Yankees

July 7, 2012

The new Yankee Stadium, which opened in 2009, pays more tribute to the original 1923 design than it should. The entrance turnstile and touch-appliances in the restrooms are far from modern day technology, and the lack of hygiene and sanitation shown by the vendors and concessions place this once iconic field in the UFE “Worst of the Worst” category. While the restrooms do offer automatic faucets, their close proximity to  the basin makes hand-washing awkward and inconvenient. The soup d...

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No. 6 Colorado Rockies

July 7, 2012

The Colorado Rockies may play in a stadium that is at 5,200 feet above sea level, Coors Field, but their Urine Feces Everywhere (UFE) rating is considered well below sea level to the UFE Team. While the ball players may enjoy the fact that their hits will go 9% farther and there is a 50% increase in home runs at this elevation,  other fans and players are less enthusiastic about the Coors Field. Labeled the most offensive park in history due to the potential for extreme ball traveling dist...

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No. 5 Cincinnati Reds

July 6, 2012

The Cincinnati Reds are a great baseball franchise, and the fans are very proud of their rich history. Unfortunately, the pride does not extend to the Great American Ball Park. The stadium ranks the fifth dirtiest out of thirty in the Urine Feces Everywhere (UFE) rankings. Gentlemen, you should be thanking the woman at the ball park because they averaged a perfect score for hand washing in the restroom. Had the woman been more like their male counterparts, with 54% of the men failing to wa...

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No. 4 Oakland Athletics

July 6, 2012

As the saying goes, the longest month of my life was the nine innings I spent at the O.co Coliseum. The Urine Feces Everywhere (UFE) Team hopes that it makes a better football stadium, because this stadium need some work. Ranked 4th out of 30 teams (with 1st being the worst), it is hard to imagine that there are three stadiums worse than O.co. Even the stadium name sounds dirty! One of only three teams that have urinal troughs in the men’s restroom, O.co deserves its poor stadium ranking....

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No. 3 Cleveland Indians

July 6, 2012

When it comes to Major League Baseball fields, we at UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere) are sad to say Cleveland’s ballpark does not rock, as the 1979 song so claims. Coming in at Number #3, we have Progressive Field, originally named Jacobs Field which has been home to the Indians since 1994. Being a relatively new field, our UFE Team felt it was more reminiscent of the older stadiums. The restrooms were far from hands-free, using a push door and manual sinks and dispensers. The restrooms w...

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No. 2 LA Dodgers

July 6, 2012

The Los Angeles Dodgers ranked the second worst out of thirty teams in the Urine Feces Everywhere (UFE) ratings. The Dodgers may now be under new ownership, but they have the same old problems inside and outside the park. There are security issues as gangs have increased their presence around the neighborhood of the park, which has become a real issue inside Dodger stadium. Just last year a San Francisco fan was brutally beaten outside of Dodger Stadium, and reports say more and more fans a...

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No. 1 Chicago Cubs

July 6, 2012

The Chicago Cubs finally brought home a championship, but it may not be something to boast about.  After compiling all of the data that our UFE team gathered from several months of research, it has been confirmed that the stadium and fan base combined have generated a score of 47% in sanitation. “The main issue that really hurt this stadium was the troughs” one UFE rep said.  “Basically, the facility provides at least thirty men to pee at once, while only a fraction of that number ca...

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  • No. 10 New York Mets
  • No. 9 Seattle Mariners
  • No. 8 Miami Marlins
  • No. 7 New York Yankees
  • No. 6 Colorado Rockies
  • No. 5 Cincinnati Reds
  • No. 4 Oakland Athletics
  • No. 3 Cleveland Indians
  • No. 2 LA Dodgers
  • No. 1 Chicago Cubs